Rules of the DJ

1. No Gaps

2. The DJ is working

3. Its not a proper job

4. DJ does not take requests

5. Line up is final

6. DJ never asks to play, DJ is asked to play

7. Practice in private

8. DJ does not have to carry their records but they do have to carry their pen drive

9. DJ's selection is free as in speech

10. DJ's beer is free as in beer

11. DJ's coke rider has ice and a slice

12. It is the promoters job to pick the right DJ

13. No, you cannot borrow headphones, or needles, or records

14. DJ does not get a mic

15. DJ / Producers are good at one, but get paid for the other

16. DJ must bring their own black T-Shirt

17. If you don't like the music, make space for those that do

18. DJ must specify their backline rider before getting to the venue, or play the house decks without bitching

19. Sound check happens before the punters arrive, or not at all

20. Its the DJ's job to make the mixer output audio

21. Its the DJ's job to make the mixer output 0Db

22. +6Db bass is presumed to be -6Db everything else

23. Square waves can be refused by the sound engineer

24. Volume control is the sound engineers job

25. The monitors cannot be moved

26. The monitor's EQ is flat for a reason

27. A promoter is a colleague, not a best mate

28. DJ gets paid

29. Manager gets paid

30. Partner & entourage do not

31. Drinks, pillz or wraps must not be left on decks, by or for the DJ

32. DJ does not have to skin up their own spliff

33. K backstage must be clearly labeled in the language of the DJ

34. LSD backstage must be clearly labeled, no teddy bears or sugar lumps

35. Music shall play until the very last minute permitted by local regulations, at least

36. Lurk on http://twitter.com/DJsComplaining don't contribute

37. Smile and say thank you

38. If your DJ name is simply your first name + second name, you will be assigned a proper DJ name you might not like, and may never know

39. If you ain't got nothing to say (musically) don't say

40. Mix off the tops

41. Headphones off

42. Practice back-to-backs in private

43. DJ don't touch the racks

44. DJ don't touch the desk

45. DJ don't touch the generator

46. Respect the previous set

47. No lame DJing at half volume to make the bands look good

48. Don't chop the previous record in half

49. ...unless its minimal

50. No spin backs

Break 1 rule: long tings
Break 5 rules: Pete Tong tings
Break 10 rules or more: Grimes tings, give up

The Forbidden Playlist

1. Lady

2. I feel love

3. One more time

4. Get lucky

5. Outta space

6. Superstition

7. Billy Jean (album mix)

8. Voodoo ray

9. Played on 18 strings

10. Jaguar

11. Sing it back (album mix)

12. Doop

13. La la land

14. Can't get you out of my head (Peggy gou midnight mix)

15. Spin spin sugar (Armand val Helden garage mix)

16. Tainted love

17. Pacific state

18. Ride the white pony

19. Tamen impala (2 many DJs mix)

20. Bomb scare

21. Higher state of consciousness

22. Hey boy

23. 3am eternal

24. Lo lo lo

25. Zombie nation

26. Dominator

27. Crispy bacon

28. Steppin' out

29. Age of love

30. Renegade master